Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Chocolate Ass

I weighed myself on Sunday and had lost 4 pounds. I weighed myself this morning and had gained 2 pounds. Gained? Gained! My dear husband, God love him, reminded me it was water weight that I had initally lost.

I've also taken up drinking Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch. Yesterday I only did breakfast as I went out for lunch with friends. Fear not, I had a grilled chicken salad, but mostly just ate the chicken because the salad had raw onions in it. Gross.

So back to the Slim Fast. As I type this I am nourishing my body with the chocolate variety. I'm imagining it is a big glass of chocolate milk or better yet a Mudslide. But it's a difficult task because the consistency is thick and it tastes like ass. It tastes like an ass that is coated in chocolate. And the smell reminds me of a combination of body odor and nursing home. Nice.

Well, here's what I'm having to eat today:
Breakfast -- Slim Fast; 220 calories
Snack -- Organic yogurt; 110 calories
Lunch -- Slim Fast; half peanut butter (no jelly) sandwich; 400 calories
Snack -- Slim Fast Bar; 120 calories
Dinner -- Pasta (pasta buffet at work function -- I will limit myself!)

I'm not sure how this Slim Fast is going to work out for me. Granted, it's chock full o' nutrients. But it's also loaded with calories. My lunch today was 400 calories. 400 calories. Really? For a half pb sandwich and a glass of ass? I could have had a Pepsi and Lean Cuisine meal for that! I may cut out my afternoon snack.

I have noticed a little bit of a difference in the way my pants fit and when I sit down, I don't have quite the bulbous bulget that I once had.

Ok, back to the chocolate ass. Maybe if I added a little vodka to it, it would taste better. Good thing I have a flask in my desk drawer.


Lori_N said...

oh my gosh...you make me laugh soooooo hard!!!!! It's so true. I had SubWay today and it was very good. I'm afraid to find out how bad it was. I got my veggies and used a low fat dressing though...we'll see.

Don't you just hate it when your husband says stuff like that? UGH!

Lori_N said...

Eric wants to know how you know what ass tastes like? hee, hee

Stayllo said...

I'm so proud of you adding in the snacks! Don't you dare take them away. I know you don't feel like you are making progress but you are. Trust me!!! Doug didn't think he was losing weight and he got on the scale and lost 14lbs. He felt like he wasn't making any progress in the beginning.