Chocolate Ass

I weighed myself on Sunday and had lost 4 pounds. I weighed myself this morning and had gained 2 pounds. Gained? Gained! My dear husband, God love him, reminded me it was water weight that I had initally lost.

I've also taken up drinking Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch. Yesterday I only did breakfast as I went out for lunch with friends. Fear not, I had a grilled chicken salad, but mostly just ate the chicken because the salad had raw onions in it. Gross.

So back to the Slim Fast. As I type this I am nourishing my body with the chocolate variety. I'm imagining it is a big glass of chocolate milk or better yet a Mudslide. But it's a difficult task because the consistency is thick and it tastes like ass. It tastes like an ass that is coated in chocolate. And the smell reminds me of a combination of body odor and nursing home. Nice.

Well, here's what I'm having to eat today:
Breakfast -- Slim Fast; 220 calories
Snack -- Organic yogurt; 110 calories
Lunch -- Slim Fast; half peanut butter (no jelly) sandwich; 400 calories
Snack -- Slim Fast Bar; 120 calories
Dinner -- Pasta (pasta buffet at work function -- I will limit myself!)

I'm not sure how this Slim Fast is going to work out for me. Granted, it's chock full o' nutrients. But it's also loaded with calories. My lunch today was 400 calories. 400 calories. Really? For a half pb sandwich and a glass of ass? I could have had a Pepsi and Lean Cuisine meal for that! I may cut out my afternoon snack.

I have noticed a little bit of a difference in the way my pants fit and when I sit down, I don't have quite the bulbous bulget that I once had.

Ok, back to the chocolate ass. Maybe if I added a little vodka to it, it would taste better. Good thing I have a flask in my desk drawer.